自从离别后，
多少次被梦儿骗了
suddenly think of my ah ma dreamt about my uncle coming to visit her after 2 years... and i dreamt abt my sis coming home...

再相逢只想问一句，你对我的心是否依旧？
does my uncle sincerely want to see his parents? i hope my sis still love her family... :P

origin of suffering = attachment

it's like an addiction...

i have an addiction...
it isolates me away from the hectic world of problems...
it's an antidote to my fragile and confused heart...
as though all worries are gone and everything can be solved...
with it, i can then truly experience eternal happiness...
not the kind of transient happiness from superficial happenings...
i find myself being loved and protected in this addiction...

i find myself looking forward to this addiction every single day...

God Bless!

origin of suffering = attachment

感激～

really appreciated what u guys have done for me though some of u broke the no-present rule. but of coz, how would i bear to donate ur gifts away... thanks for everything people!

origin of suffering = attachment

Talking while at Lalaland...

was so amused by what yati told me... i was supposed to wake up at 8.30am for 10am lesson this morning. i forgot to inform yati... i set alarm clock at 8.30 but failed to wake up. yati heard the alarm and called me.

yati: girl, wake up already.

me: *sub conscious* orh

yati: girl, got school anot?

me: no

yati: dreaming anot?

me: no

yati: your alarm rang, wake up.

sub conscious, i sat up on the bed.

yati: (walking out of room) ok, go brush teeth.

me: thank you. (for not disturbing my sleep? i wondered why i said thank you...?)

then i slumped down on the bed again.

like half an hr later my mum came back from her morning exercise, told yati i got to wake up for school, yati then rush to call me wake up at 9.15.

yati: girl, got school. 9.15 already, wake up.

me: *conscious* oh~~~

lolx... i always sleep talk and this is not the first time. on one night i told yati to wake me up the nxt day. the nxt morning when she nudged me to wake up, i was reluctant and she asked me if ive got school and i replied no. then when i woke up late, i asked yati why didnt she wake me up. that was the first time yati knows i sleep talk. then for other incidents when i said no school or anything, she will ask me if im dreaming. sometimes i am really conscious and said the right thing, and sometimes like this morning, i was really dreaming. @@

origin of suffering = attachment

心动。

There are incidents which evoke some feelings in us and these feelings are usually not discovered in our mundane lives. These few days, i experienced a lot of these feelings that makes my heart warm...

1. In the B'day video i made for my sis, i requested my family members including yati to say something they wish to say to my sis. Everyone has different way of expressing their love for one another. My dad though seemingly the least expressing person at home gave his heartfelt speech, a father yearning for his daughter to come home soon.

2. Also, was surprised when my dad told me that he signed up for facebook. His reason is quite obvious to me. I kept updating him about sis posting some status and pics of her life in new zealand on facebook which he later got to know what it is. So he decided to signed up for facebook, something which he almost have no idea what it is.

3. My Ah ma dreamt about her youngest son coming to visit her. (my uncle hasnt come to see her for 2 yrs already, including this new yr). in her dream, she wanted to cook something for my uncle but realise there isnt much stuff to cook. Although my Ah ma has many children and grandchildren, the absence of just one son has made her feel that she's still lonely. I always thought my Ah ma is $$ minded, but i gradually realise that it's unfair to say that. yes, she does love money, but her children are as important. though she can be v. unreasonable and gossips, her genuine love and care for us is not overrated.

4. Usually when i edit my own videos, i tend to not have much emotions in it. in fact, feel v. sianz working on it. But for this B'day vid for my sis, it somehow touches me, which is quite unusual when im editing my own vid. Together with the music, it made me miss my sis even more that i almost cried. Though not like angie and yc who really cried... Hope my sis also felt the same thing and come back earlier... heh

It is most probably due to our mundane heart that i fail to notice love. i have always taken it for granted.

origin of suffering = attachment

Aftermath of the War... Scene 2... Action!

today was the final scene of 'The Line', the war film. producing this film is v. intense due to the bad weather and this ulu place where we got to trekked a distance into this dilapidated small room which is near the railway tracks at bouna vista. we set up the lights and made slight smoke again, this time for the dusty effect in the room.

director on the chair and cameraman testing the shots...

he's preparing a diy pump, connecting the compressor to make... as shown below!

blood splatter! this is a trial splatter and its damn real can!! the diy pump was made by the director!

duno what's the role of this lady in the show but what i know is she is the survivor of the film, holding on the most crucial thing...

this is the film's director who also has a role as a commando whom i assume is a baddie in his film... our art director told us that he is v. passionate about doing combat films and has been doing such films previously, and finally build up to this current one... thumbs up...

i once asked if he is good at lights that's why he is always seen doing the lights and they replied he is good at everything about film, and lights is what he is particularly interested in.

the guy who is gonna be...

and there it goes! 1 shot 1 kill! the pump didnt let us down, love the splatter that was created, so real!

and, it's a wrap! but sadly, not exactly coz we got to transport those bulky and heavy stuff, which are mainly the lights, stands to support the lights, sand bags etc along the muddy paths to the production van parked at a distance away from the film site. @@ shooting today was very short but the setting and clearing up was really tedious.. yc and angie had witnessed the tragic state i was in and laughed at me when they see me wash my dirty legs...

but overall, a very very awesome experience with the seniors~ has been learning v. useful stuff along the way... and hope i can be as zai as my seniors in yrs to come!!! thanks to lovely ohanies who have been supporting me, be it at the screening or acting for my film... i will not let u all down ;)

origin of suffering = attachment

Went to a War.... @@

helped out for 2 seniors' FYP films, and i can say this war film is as expected, fun!!! i was shocked when i heard someone is doing a war film as i wouldnt think that ADM-ers will do sth like this. who knows, maybe i shall do sth bombastic for FYP too. oO it's basically a guy's film where there are 30 plus cast and crew who are guys and the pathetic 5, 6 gals... i was in charged of art direction under a handsome senior. we created explosions, smoke etc at the site. talking abt smoke, the guys really love to smoke and i chua tio when someone actually offered me a bud. @@

have been admiring this yr 3 senior... looks average, another one with long hair and he is damn zai, reputable in adm film. he always has this weird smile when he talked to me, even when it's abt serious work, which makes him charming... actually started admiring him when i know abt his talents and reputation in film. he did many outside projects and even did mv for 陈美心. gradually, attracted to his aura... ha... i wore his personal gloves that he offered to me and i joked to my friend, i prob could have the 'touch of ben'. people give him names such as this coz he's v. gd at post production editing, one touch to do wonders. i realise my eye candies are people who are zai, capable, charming...

anyway, apart from all these idolising, ive learnt quite some stuff abt production, the seniors are really v. professional and knows clearly what they are doing. make up is part of the art directing and now i know the formula for fake blood and how to do make up like this... what a great chance to learn wonderful stuff!

origin of suffering = attachment