Guardian.

Known him since year 1, foundation year. Didn't know him too well, but thought he was quite a nice guy when the first call he made to me was to warn me to come to class to show my work to prof before he penalized my grades.

In year 2, we both got into film major, he was like a shifu, teaching me what Im interested to know about camera and lights. I managed to work at equipment store from his recommendation. From then, he gave me plenty of opportunities to crew for him.

In year 3, despite being under him for quite some time, I was still learning very slowly and not serious in improving myself, always taking things lightly. He started to get strict with me, or mean or sarcastic. He always scolds me when I screw things up but according to a friend, he once advised others not to scold me, finding excuses such as I'm already very stressful to handle so much things. A friend described our relationship as love-hate relationship.

I was very nervous on a breakthrough project as a director of photography. He then appeared, stretched out his hand and gave me a very sincere handshake, telling me good luck.

In year 4, he continues to be blunt with his words, especially so to me. When a concerned friend told tale to him about me putting producing as my first choice (a role which I've never taken up before) and director of photography as my second and advised him to talk to me, he texted me to ask if I've considered properly. Because of these kind concerns I received from my friends, I changed my choices.

He started to see the the effort i put in for FYP and also according to a friend, told the others that I'm slow but willing to learn.

At my classmate's shoot in Penang, there was one night out when a big black dog suddenly charged out towards my direction. He was beside me when I gasped. Almost immediately, he pulled me away towards him. He is someone who is afraid of most animals, even a cat, but when the dog charged out, instead of shunning, his instinct was to pull me away. I was really touched.

During my FYP as producer, I cried one night because of the stress from the crew, partly because of him who made some demands about supper. When he knew that I cried, he joked to give me a hug with his arms stretched out. He also took out the sponsored C300 canon video cam which is to shoot his FYP from his car to let me 'play'. I felt like a kid instantly, in front of an elder brother.

During my FYP as director of photography, he had been there for me, to recce locations with my team, to discuss and advise on my lighting plans, to get the crew under us to stay back to black cloth windows, to do midnight shoot and still come on set early next morning despite asking him to take shifts. Even he himself exclaimed why is he doing so much for me. I expressed my gratitude to him that moment and told him I was really touched.

When he got to know from my friends that i cried because my Asst dir got nasty to me, he texted me a msg to me to tell me not to worry and that i have done a good job so far. The nxt morning on set, he told me to stand next to him and said he will shield me if the asst dir tekan me. She really came to rush us and he said a few words to her and she left us alone. After the shoot he told her to reflect on her nastiness to the crew. She came to apologize to me. He had also told her that she should know how my working style is like and she should accommodate to it. I was surprised to hear that he defended me again.

For my pickup shoot, due to some admin issues, we couldn't check out lighting stuff from store which would have cost a bomb if we rent from outside. He was concerned and helped me called up rentals and asked for quotes to meet our team's budget. He also suggested to me that he could help me get some equipment out from store. (He has power in the store and our store supervisor trusts him). It is illegal and he usually won't do that, but he did that for me.

Checking in the equipment wasn't as easy. He wasn't there and supervisor didn't trust me due to bad impression from round 1. I texted him for help, to talk to supervisor. He called, they talked and he once again settled things for me.

Few days back, I thanked him for everything he has done for me and confessed that he is the most blunt but actually the most concerned one.

I thanked God for putting this friend beside me, to see me through these 4 years, someone whom I thought is a mean friend but happens to be my support. Thank God for giving me an elder brother, a guardian.

Ho'oponopono - Heal ourselves before healing others